Notes: A clean song for dirty minds? This song is a word association game that takes little imagination to figure out. You can help your audience "get it" by putting a little extra pause before, or emphasis on, the word that doesn't quite fit. Let them use their rhyming skills to anticipate what word ought to go there.
Where seagulls fly over their nests She combed the long hair that hung over her shoulders
And caused her to tickle and itch.
The sailor cried out "There's a beautiful mermaid,"
A-sitting out there on the rocks,
The crew came around a-grabbing their glasses
And crowded four deep to the rail,
All eager to share in this fine piece of news.
Which the captain soon heard from the watch.
He tied down the wheel and he reached for his crackers
And cheese which he kept near the door.
In case he might someday encounter a mermaid.
He knew he must use all his wits
Crying "Throw out a line, we'll lasso her flippers."
And then we will
If mermaids are better before or be brave
my good fellows." The captain
"With fortune we'll break through her mermaiden head-
-ing to starboard they tacked with dispatch.
And caught that fair mermaid just under her elbows
And hustled her down below decks,
And each took a turn at her feminine setting
Her free at the end of the farce,
She splashed in the waves, falling flat on her after
A while one man noticed some scabs,
Soon they broke out with the pox and the scratching
With fury, cursing with spleen,
This song may be dull but it's certainly clean.